TactiSMART 083: DIY MREs: Taste Better & Healthier for YOU--and Everyone Around You!

 “If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.”

--Napoleon

2x years into my long military career, C-rations were replaced by plastic pouch, Meals-Ready-to-Eat (MREs). I now refuse to eat MREs after experiencing what they do to your body gobbling them for a month one time and the extremely unsafe, unsanitary discomfort they wrought inside a Bradley Fighting Vehicle aka infantry-carrying, medium tank with an entire squad of men inside. If you can read-between-the-lines, MREs have a constipation agent so you don't go poopoo out of fear in combat and an anti-sex drive agent to keep you focused on war. They have preservatives for a 15-year shelf life. When you open a MRE main meal entree, the flies have enough sense to avoid them. To add insult to injury, we officers have to $$$ BUY OURS.

Late in my military career, I had enough rank/money to bring my own food to the field training exercises (FTXes) though overseas you are stuck with what they give you--MREs but not more than 28x days. I suggest buying a foot locker full of delicious, but mega-expensive dehydrated MOUNTAIN HOUSE food for when you leave the FOB's wire. No, the ideal and what we must do is be FOB-less, living out of our mother "track" (tank) which should have a communal "kitchen" as well as a bunk for drivers to sleep, a bathroom with shower/toilet so we can refresh, clean ourselves and put fresh uniforms on for continuous 24/7 combat operations for weeks at a time so the enemy has no rest. None of this makes you a "pussy" to conserve Soldier fighting powers for COMBAT against the enemy.

What did I normally bring to FTXes?

Canned tuna fish, mayonnaise and crackers. The MRE's hard crackers are excellent and last forever--I wish we could buy JUST THEM in bulk. 

Are these MRE or HDR Crackers?

https://www.amazon.com/MRE-Crackers-50-Pack/dp/B07TDSZHPB/

I used MRE drink mixes to flavor my water but they were not big enough to flavor an entire 1 quart canteen--just a canteen cup which is always dirty so unused except in dire SERE emergencies to boil water since I prefer to eat my food UNHEATED.

This works fine for an under 2x week FTX.

SHTF/Home Defense Operations

The problem is longer than that, your un-refrigerated mayonnaise goes bad (why every POV & military track should have a fridge).

The solution is little mayo PACKETS that don't need refrigeration you use only the number you need to mix into a water/oil-drained tuna fish can.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B074V9NGC8/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Next, if you don't eat ALL of the tuna fish, you need a CAP to hold it in its can.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B084CTXDGJ/

The crackers have to be all eaten up because they go notoriously stale quickly--poorly wrapped as they are.

The Sailor Boy Pilot Crackers in a CAN will last forever (15+ years) but only 12x per can at $17 is not feasible for long-term SHTF survival at home base (Home Defense aka HD). You should have 1x cracker can in your Bug-Out-Bag (BoB) rucksack. C-RATION flashbacks! "Hurry up, recruits! Finish up eating NOW!!"

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005IPV10A/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

The above CAN needs a CAN OPENER P38/John Waynewhatever. Unless you lose storage life, pull-tabs would be better.

The GOOD NEWS is yes, John 3:16 our life's sins can be pardoned if we ask for it, but this cracker can "can" be covered with the plastic lids we describe below.

The 2-pound Sailor Boy Pilot Crackers sadly don't come air-proof wrapped. Ugggh.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/384418662005

Fix this by placing them in water-proof, plastic containers with moisture-absorbing desiccants.

Placing 1/2 aka 1 pound of crackers each in a slide-lock zip-lock plastic bag enables you to re-load them into their OEM box for storage. Place desiccant bag in each one. 

Eat, DRINK, Be Merry with what?

Obviously...WATER...but that may become boring, yes?

Flavor packets!

Boxed Drinks, How Long do They Last?

https://www.stilltasty.com/Fooditems/index/17691

How long does unopened shelf-stable, ultra-high temperature (UHT) milk last? The precise answer to the question depends to a large extent on storage conditions - store unopened packages of shelf-stable UHT milk (UHT milk that has been sold un-refrigerated) in a cool, dark area.

To extend the shelf life of unopened shelf-stable UHT milk, keep unopened shelf-stable UHT milk away from direct sources of heat or light.

How long does unopened shelf-stable UHT milk last at room temperature? Properly stored, unopened shelf-stable UHT milk will generally stay at best quality for about 2 to 4 weeks after the date on the package (1/2 a year) when stored at room temperature.

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This leaves us glass bottles vs. aluminum cans...

https://justbeerapp.com/article/beer-cans-vs-bottles-whats-better-why

https://inhabitat.com/aluminum-cans-vs-plastic-bottles-which-is-best-for-the-environment/

The liquid inside the aluminum can benefit from the material as well, since aluminum blocks light, moisture and oxygen from permeating the outside. This makes the drinks more sustainable, as they have a longer shelf-life.

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Like aluminum alloy is BEST for tracked infantry-carrying tanks (M113 Gavins) they are the best cans for drink storage!

Plus following the canned theme as storing the longest...YOOHOO chocolate, cookies 'n cream drinks...

https://www.amazon.com/Yoo-Hoo-Chocolate-Drink-11-Cans/dp/B0024NXVXE/

https://www.amazon.com/Yoo-hoo-Flavored-Drink-Cookies-Flavor/dp/B08RY7Z8QX/

Yoohoo Cans vs. Bottles

https://www.walmart.com/search?q=yoohoo

12x 11 ounce cans = 132 ounces = $5.78 = 0.04 per ounce

4 x 12 ounce bottles = 48 ounces = $3.48 = 0.07 per ounce

Soda Pop Canned Drinks

https://www.walmart.com/search?q=soda+can+items

To cover up your can if you don't finish it then:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B085ZZGNTC/

Summary/Conclusion

Go "hiking" or biking/ebiking aka a less than 1x month "FTX"; then you take:

Tuna fish/Chicken/Beef Cans

Mayo Packets

Peanut Butter jar

Hard Crackers

Canned drinks

Water in bladder/canteens

Water flavorings

Water purifier pump

Candy bars

NOTICE: NO COOKING required!

The above is the BASELINE for enough calories to survive your excursion. This QUANTITY can be upgraded with say 1x can a day of a soup and/or beef stew/Beefaroni etc. subject to needing lids if the entire can isn't eaten then & there. These 1x meal cans usually have pull-tab tops speeding eating their contents compared to us being yelled at by D.I.s for taking too long using our tiny P38/John Wayne can openers on C-Ration cans.

A chewable Vitamin C is pleasurable to suck on, Gummy Bear Omega III are way more easy on your stomach than swallowing fish oil globs...a multi-vitamin, too--you get the idea. Once you have the meat/mayo or peanut butter on crackers + drink + candy bar BASELINE your stomach is filled, you have energy and can make sound SERE decisions. 

Man cannot live by bread alone; so he better have drinks & crackers!

John 3:16

Semper Airborne!

James Bond is REAL.